I had a conversation with C.C. last night detailing how she hated Tyler Perry's last cinematic masterpiece "Daddy's Little Girls." (Please note that this was sarcasm). She was pissed off from everything that the lead actor wasn't attractive (which I vehemently disagree... Idris Elba is sexy!) to wanting to know why Gabrielle Union's character "settled" for this apparently "subpar" man (because he worked as a mechanic and had 3 kids from a "crazy" woman and had been to jail before on some bogus charges).
The movie ain't winning no Emmy's, but I enjoyed watching it, and could get with the premise. The point I took away from it, which seems to be a common theme of ALL Tyler Perry movies, was for Black women not to discount the brothas that are right in front of them cuz they ain't wearing Brooks Brothers suits. Same thing we hear in Ebony and Essence magazines every month, but I digress.... It is hard out there in the streets for Black women to find mates. I mean, let's just look at some statistics and/or personal experiences of your girlfriends. At what point do we reconcile the situation we're dealing with with our perfect fantasy relationship? And is this settling or just being realistic?
C.C. pointed out one of her pet peeves of not speaking the king's English (or Black men, rather, because she would date someone of another ethnicity that didn't speak proper English). And then equated being college degreed with intelligence. "I can't be with a man that I can't have an intelligent conversation with," she said. "What would happen if I brought him to meet with my colleagues at work?" I was trying to say this in a tactful way, but because of various social factors, there are a lot of smart Black men who do not have degrees and can carry on intelligent conversations, even with your co-workers! I really wanted to ask outloud, as sort of a reality check, "Are we feeling ourselves a bit too much?" Then she admitted to being pissed off with the messages to "take a brotha as he is" when she has put so much work into herself professionally. On some level, she expects that a Ph.D. buys her the perfect man who lays it down in bed, makes $90K/year, and takes her on exotic vacations because she will have a Ph.D. Is this feeling ourselves too much?
We both have our personal preferences, as she kept stating, and this is one of hers. However, could some of these personal preferences be keeping us lonely and single? At what point do we get realistic with where we are now... and let go of the sense of entitlement and Barbie fairy-tale dreams?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment