seasons change

"People come into your live in the category of a tree...A leaf is supposed to teach you one thing...If somebody hurt you and you see them fix it or try to fix it, keep that person around, that's a leaf tryin to grow to be something else. If they don't fix it, and don't care...let them go." -- Tyler Perry, as spoken by Madea in "Madea Goes to Jail."

I'm ready to speak on the situations that have been brewing over the past couple of days, hence all of the cryptic posts. Something pretty amazing happened the other night. Chicago called me up for a heart-to-heart. He is rising to the occasion of being the man, the partner that I deserve. He told me he wanted to follow my example and put in the work to get his life order. He told me that he loves and genuinely cares about my family. He told me he wants to make me smile and laugh, to feel appreciated, and that my feelings matter. He told me that he has never met anyone like me, that he loves me.

This is some pretty big shit. Especially from him. And especially after everything that has happened between us.

I can't help it. I feel the same way. I love him so much and I never stopped loving him. He can be a bonafide azzhole at times, but there's still another side of him that is so sweet and loving and - dare I say it - all of the things I've been wanting, besides the surface characteristics. He ain't no Ph.D. Never been to college. Ain't pulling down six figs. He's rough around the edges. But he's been my source of reason. He's been the smile on my face after a long day.

Y'know, this is a calculated risk I'm taking by entertaining the thoughts of surrendering to my feelings and giving this relationship a chance.

I love him. I do know that. He hasn't made the best choices in the past, but tomorrow starts from the decisions we make today. He's my leaf growing into a branch.