Wednesday, September 19, 2007

let the church say AMEN!

I didn't write this, but it really resonated with me today. This is probably a huge contradiction of some of my former posts, but whatever... I'm FEELING IT TODAY! It's a pearl of wisdom gleaned from a marathon thread on "Unpopular Opinions. " PREACH ON, SISTAGIRL!

This is my unpopular opinion:
We women are selling ourselves a bag o crap.

When women are alone the general comments are:
Wait for the right one to come along. Have Faith. The common denominator in your failed relationships is YOU - fix your problems. You must be attracting these types of men. If you want a man of a certain caliber, you have to be a woman of a certain caliber. Change this. Upgrade that. Fix this... and on and on.

When men are alone they get this:
Ask someone out. If she doesn't work out, ask somebody else.

I'm just sayin, Ladies.
Isn't it possible, even slightly, even a teensy weensy bit - that in this male-chavanist driven society, where women are generally commodities whose insecurities support billion dollar industries in beauty and apparel, where men can leave their families at the drop of a hat to forge new ones, where the idiot balding slob in a sitcom is married to the stunner of a wife, where women judge each other, not simply on the basis of their accomplishments in life - but how well she aged (because looking your age is somehow unfathomable), where an increase in any attribute (age, weight, skin color, education, executive position, children) statistically DECREASES your chances of being with a mate - isn't it possible, that the problem is NOT YOU?

There are too many dayum women chasing a photoshop illusion of perfection and a glossy hardcover book fantasy of a well balanced have it all woman.
The yoga practicing, ceo, marathon runner, married to an international executive, highly organized, great cook, impeccably decorated house bought one year after graduating from top ivy league school, fantastic lover, perpetual kegel practicer, all natural vegan recyclable, totally even tempered and soft voiced, had 3 honor roll kids but can make it to everyones games/practices/recitals, 5 language speaking, dressed perpetually in designer, 800 credit score never paid a bill late, loved by in laws and family, historically aware and politically active, volunteers every Tuesday, high class but never bourgie, 36-22-36 since 9th grade, dated/knows umpteen stars, never had a yeast inf or even a slight cold, weekend yachter who makes chitterlings cuz she's still DOWN woman is not attainable.

I just wish sometimes - we'd say to each other -
Hey, being single and alone, it happens. And sometimes it SUCKS. If you think that there's something to learn from a bad situation, learn - but sometimes things JUST DON'T WORK OUT. Don't analyze, poke or prod yourself. Don't FIX what most likely AIN'T broken. Don't lock yourself in a room - fasting and praying for something to happen. Get up, get out and LIVE. Use your time on this earth to bring some beauty to it in whatever special way you can.
With that said, I'm about to write a personal resolution to "do me," and whomever doesn't like it can kick rocks. I'm about to learn how to separate the bullshit of life that has nothing to do with me, push it aside, and do it big -- regardless of who is or who ain't blowing up my phone or beating down my door to be with me.

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