Sunday, March 22, 2009

practical vs. emotional

I've been breaking out in hives regularly about taking an academic job for at least the past few years. Even more recently, I've been breaking out into hives about this economy tanking, being homeless, and having to live with my parents. Despite my best efforts, somehow I have been "common sensed" into applying for academic positions. I'm waiting to hear back from fellowship applications as we speak.

It haunts me that it is fear that drove me to apply for these jobs in the first place. It represents the path of least resistance, perhaps the most likelihood to be finally live an independent adult lifestyle, but also what has been plaguing me for some time now. It has become abundantly clear to me that I know I can do the job, but will I be happy?

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