Saturday, March 7, 2009

commitment issues

Posted today by DivineInspiration - this was REALLY speaking to me

Do you have commitment issues?

Let me ask you a couple of questions…
Are you committed to anything in your life 100%?
Are you committed to yourself 100%
What would happen if you committed to yourself – your success, your happiness, and your growth – 100%?

I have a confession to make: I was once an undercover commitmentphobe. On the surface, I appear very committed to things: my life, my spiritual and personal development, my career, and my health. And I am. I am a disciplined person – able to make lasting changes in my life and consistently make choices that are in alignment with my goals. However, every now and then, traces of my commitmentphobia appear, and I deal with them accordingly.

This occurred to me over the course of the past few months as several situations have presented themselves that required commitment – and even though I’ve been able to discern what was right for me and what wasn’t and then make great decisions, I still felt that hesitation…the shortness of breath, the mental clenching, the 3 year old in my head saying, “Do we HAVE to? We have to do this for how long??? What if we wanna do somethin’ else?” I attribute my commitment issues to a need for variety and to my disdain for monotony and feeling “boxed in”. I think this is why I am an entrepreneur, and this is why I do very well with the things I commit to and do nothing at all when I’m lukewarm…I need to always feel that I have a CHOICE…never feeling stuck, always knowing that my consistent, stable behavior is a choice of mind and that like a bird, I could fly away at any given moment. Power lies in our ability to choose.

I don’t really have a problem with the idea of being in things for the long haul – after all, my business, my health, and marriage (very soon) all require focus, discipline, and commitment. I’m all for it – I cheer those commitments on. I decided to explore this seeming contradiction because I’ve discovered that a LOT of people feel the way I do – they want to do things, but the idea of being “stuck” is enough to make them jump off of a bridge – myself included. However, these same people are often extremely committed to a handful of things in their lives. I wondered if the issue was them not understanding the benefit of the prospective commitment versus the current commitment, but then something occurred to me…

People who are able to succeed at being committed to other people and things are typically those who are committed to themselves first. That’s an interesting thought, right? Let’s unpack it.

What is required of you to commit to yourself? I mean, to REALLY commit to yourself…that would mean taking yourself somewhat seriously – thinking critically about where you are in your life, where you want to go, and what you plan to do about it. Then you would have to DO something about it, starting today. It would require that you love yourself with reckless abandon and be hopelessly devoted to your growth and success on every level. Scary, huh?

I remember standing at the door of all the things I wanted about 2 years ago – success, love, achievement, money, peace of mind, freedom, space to be who I wanted to be. That season in my life was life-changing to say the least, but as I reflect on it, the key that unlocked the door was – wait for it – commitment.

I found it scary, unnerving, and uncomfortable at first. I didn’t really know what I was committing to…I had a fuzzy idea of what I wanted from life and for myself, but I wasn’t quite sure WHO I was or who I was supposed to be so I decided to simply commit to finding out. People always say, “Be yourself”…but what if you’re not sure who you are? What if you’re still exploring all the complexities that comprise YOU? You are entitled to the process of discovery. That process should be safe for you – free of judgment and stumbling blocks. After commitment, the best things you can have are an open mind, a pen and a pad, and people who love and support your evolution. The people are important because self-actualized, happy, successful people can be an invaluable asset in your personal growth and development. And having people in your corner who truly believe in you and are committed to your success will change your life.

I was fortunate enough to have all 3 and my life looks COMPLETELY different as a result. The woman I was 2 years ago would not even recognize the woman I am today – and it’s exhilarating to be authentic, to be completely comfortable in my own skin, and to live life on my own terms with no shame, confusion, or doubt. And in addition to having grown into a woman who I love, trust, admire, respect, and cherish, I’ve also gotten more comfortable jumping out of the proverbial planes in my life – committing and surrendering myself to new experiences, remembering that there’s always a lesson for me and I choose the meaning of my life. As I nurture my relationship with myself, my spirit grows richer and so does my life.

And the interesting thing is that I didn’t get ALL of those things right away…in fact, it’s been a process – a steady, daily process. But as I look up from time to time, I notice that the pieces of the puzzle of my life are beginning to fit together and in a seamless, beautiful way that gives me EXACTLY what I want and then some. And the feeling is indescribable.

Commitment…sometimes we think we need inspiration or motivation when all we really need is to commit to what we say we want and then get on with the business of being, doing, and having. As I coached a client the other day, I explained this to her…that she just needed to commit. She didn’t need all of these external things – SHE was the answer to her burning questions.

So, I’ll ask you again…
What would happen if you committed to yourself – your success, your happiness, and your growth – 100%?
What are you waiting for? Let’s GO! You can do it – if your mind can conceive it, you can achieve it. Don’t waste another day wondering and singing should have, could have, would haves. Do something, anything, today. You owe it to yourself to be the best you and to live well. You’re worth it!

May God’s richest blessings be with you in 2009 and beyond!

With love,

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